Nine is an orphan pickpocket determined to escape her life in the Nest of a Thousand Treasures where she's one of many thieves only valued for what they can steal. When she lifts a house-shaped ornament from a mysterious woman's purse, she knocks on its tiny door and watches it grow into a huge, higgledy-piggledy building.

Inside, Nine meets the eccentric people who call the magical house their home: Dr. Spoon the alchemist, Flabberghast the young wizard and competitive hopscotch-er, and Eric the troll housekeeper with a strong emotional attachment to his feather duster. For years, they have been desperate to end the curse on the house that prevents them from leaving, finding the bathroom on the first try, or opening the tea cupboard. They can't even change the scenery outside the windows because the toad's tongue that enables the structure to move around has gone missing.

After years of having only herself to count on, prickly Nine doesn't have an altruistic bone in her body and should be the very last choice for anyone looking for a hero, but she's the only one around. With the promise of a life-changing reward in the balance, she sets her street smarts against bats with acid dung, a burping sugar bowl, and worse as she uncovers more about the curse...and herself.