Sometimes I wonder what my hockey career is worth.

Blood, sweat, and tears, sure.

But losing Ash?

I can't.

I shouldn't ask this of her.

To ignore the rumors.

To let go of the scandal.

To accept the spotlight.

To give up her dreams so I can chase mine.

Balancing it all, though?

Well, that's a different sort of torture.

I have no idea how long I can hold on without my past catching up to us.

And when it does?

Well, Ash deserves better than a screw up like me.