Some occasions call for foul language, but why resort to the common F-word? If you must be offensive, hearken back to the Elizabethan days for more salacious and outrageous word choices. Impress your friends with your mastery of lewd iambic pentameter and vanquish your enemies with the power of the bard. After all, a toad-spotted maggot by any other name would be as pestilent . . .

Mix and match to come up with your own raucous rebuffs, including:

• Thou Foul-Reeking Lily-Livered Codpiece
• Thou Ruttish Rump-Fed Pignut
• Thou Beslubbering Cockeyed Canker-blossom
• Thou Churlish Dull-Eyed Hag
  And more