5Out of Loneliness: Murder and Memoir opens on Memorial Day 1962 when Bev Waugh, a transgender man strode down a quiet street in a small South Dakota river town and shot Myron Menzie, a young Lakota engaged to Jeanie Stepon, Bev's pretty, teenage lover. Haug was sixteen years old that day and had no context for understanding the complications of a triangulated love affair that led to murder.

Forty years later, Haug discovers a picture of Bev. In her memory Bev was brawny, fierce, and freakish. She is stunned to see how tiny and vulnerable Bev appears in the photo. How could her memories be so faulty? This coming-of-age story braids the author's life with Bev's in terms of how the western landscape shaped their understanding of masculinity, gender identity, fathers, love, and grief. It is an unexpected story in an unexpected place that balances the mundane life of a small-town with the violence and the pervasive myth of the cowboy. At heart, this is a book about transformations.