A divorced virgin at twenty-five.

Howard Mackert gave up everything he had ever known to escape from an arranged marriage and Mormon fundamentalism, only to find he had gone out of the frying pan and into the fire--with unseen scars that would take years to heal.

As one of 31 children in a polygamist family, Howard Mackert's childhood was far from ordinary. Here, he tells his story of growing up as a member of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints and part of a household with three (and later four) mothers.

But Howard's story doesn't end with his departure from FLDS. After his escape, he unintentionally landed in yet another fundamentalist environment, fuelled by a compulsion to find concrete answers to life's eternal questions. It was only by discovering the unconditional acceptance and grace of God that Howard was able to forgive the past, live a life of love, and embrace the mystery of faith--without a fundamentalist addiction to certainty.