You have the best cat in the world, it's true. But there's no avoiding the fact that, perfect and adorable as they may be, there are certain elements of being a cat owner that you could do without. Those thoughtful "gifts" you find in the kitchen. The scratch-marks on the couch. Their hairballs clogging up your vacuum cleaner.

Luckily, this no-nonsense guide is here to teach you all the tricks you'll ever need to help you navigate life with your furry friend, so you can focus on the positives - like giving them head-scritches and cooing over their little toe beans.

With pearls of wisdom like these, you'll be a pro cat parent in no time:

- As a cat parent, you will need to work out the golden number of tummy rubs your cat will allow before they turn into an uncontrollable scratch-monster

- Your cat may look cute and innocent, but there's an evil mastermind secretly at work behind all that fluff

Items placed on a surface are highly offensive to cats and will be quickly dispatched to the floor, where they belong