I could have gone on a cruise and forgot about stealing a killer box from a Vampire King.

I could have shaved my head and become a Tibetan monk.

I could have also lost my virginity to some nice Texas cowboy who wanted to introduce me to his mother.

But instead, I went to Germany and ended up fighting Mercenaries.

I also fell in love with a Vampire King who claimed me as his.

And now I'm in the river, and all because I decided not to just stay home and do my laundry.

No instead... I shot a pilot.