0"Out of those ashes rose a version of me that was truer than ever. I emerged as I always was - a solosexual - with every conditioning from society of what love and sex should be burnt away."

CEDAR: An Ode to Masturbation is a sensual celebration of solosexuality. Written as the author's testimony to a life lived through masturbation, fragments of memory and dogma collide as the artistry and mystery of masturbation is explored alongside the questioning of how to be solosexual in a society obsessed with partnering. The text then departs in the form of a queer, dystopian fiction "The Clomp of Hooves." In a Bacchanalian society where solosexuals thrive after the fall of capitalist society, one bator must protect the purity of a young solosexual from being corrupted by emergent fascist forces.

CEDAR is a work of real imagination. Asymmetrical in form but singular in vision, it is a captivating, explicit and poetic ode to masturbation and how to love.

Reviews:
"CEDAR is entirely life-affirming. The solosexual part is one thing, but above all the real message of it it's the whole acceptance of yourself. Like the emotional, sensual, animal, everythingness of it all. Being self-sufficient on a profoundly earthy level. In that space there is so much love. You are a beautiful man."

"An awesome and inspiring journey."

"Incredible, magnificent book - well, I can't praise it enough. Every page has meaning to me, every section captures the imprint of my own solosexual journey. He writes Truth. I've read it many times already -- thoughtfully, again while masturbating, and again as a work of art."

Introduction:
"Pleasure is the yardstick by which I measure my life. It was not always. It has taken a lifetime of unlearning what I was taught, what we are all taught, will bring our lives meaning. I am a pleasure seeker now. I live intentionally as a solosexual man. I am a proponent for sensual living. Everything starts and ends at your skin. We are pleasure receptors.

Sometime in the Spring of 2016, I became my own lover. I committed myself to exploring whether I alone could take care of all the needs - emotional, sexual, physical - that I had relied on others to fulfil. Could I offer myself the intimacy, support and loving surprises that people say are the hallmarks of a strong relationship? I entered into several years of intensely thinking about what it might mean to become my own lover. It was my great experiment in love and it had an unexpected result.

Our world is obsessed with partnering. Classic, pair-bonded heteromimicry. To be a solosexual is a somewhat scary proposition. To eschew relationships begs at solosexuality's shadow. What am I to make then of loneliness? Does solosexuality preclude intimacy with others? My experiment's great discovery was that relationships are not what we are taught. Relationships take a great many forms. If you place a relationship with yourself as paramount, then you forge your own path. You redefine relationships that suit you and not society's accepted definition.

You may wonder what it is like to be my own lover. To grow myself and drink from my own nectar. Forthwith in these pages I evoke for you my life surrendered to masturbation. These pages will flit, just as memory does, to and fro through time. One sensual remembrance may lead to another, or to an idea, or to belief. All the while these remembrances fuse into form. The tree of my identity has grown strong, but it began as a sapling. As I write this I see in my mind's eye the place where this sapling was nourished. A place where purity reigned and nothing can buffet, penetrate or yet destroy what I am nurturing within."

Timothy is the author of books and essays on masturbation. His work covers subjects from solosexuality, edging, gooning to handsfree ejaculation. Dedicated to masturbation and body pride.